MY BEST FRIEND
Mel: You know what I hate about drunk girls? Me: What? Mel: Nothing.
Freshman year of college. I’m sitting in the lobby on the 7th floor of my dorm, filling out the application form for the Honors program. A budding frat star that I am semi-acquaintences with walks in. He asks me what I’m filling out. I tell him it’s an application to be an Honors student. He replies.. “HA, WELL HAVE FUN WITH YOUR HONORS THESIS. THIS IS GONNA BE MYYYYY...
Just changed my twatter name from @sozmcsoz to @sozmonsta! Get on the tweets my friendzz
Trying to be as clever as Tom C. via text
SZ: That’s a good compromise. I like a compromise. I should be on these debt talks. TC: New York Times headline: “Fashion Research Gets Unprecedented Bump in Zhong/Boehner Plan” SZ: “The Market is Feeling Bullish on Shoes” TC: “Members Only Jacket Futures Skyrocketing” SZ: “Investors are Shorting Ugg Boots” TC: Damn I’m overexposed...
Anonymous asked: Who's boots do you gotta shine to get a decent latte in LA?
Anonymous asked: You are working in a professional setting right? What do you wear to work?
Help me decide what drinks to get tonight! →
Please don’t suggest the two that come with a whole egg, I don’t think I could handle that!